This is going to sound trite but I am going to say it anyway; It is a full time job to care for our children. That really doesn't get valued enough. To be a mom and ANYTHING else is nothing short of remarkable. They need so much in every way you can think of. And I know that I fall short to give it to them all the time.
I looked at my calendar this week and knew it would be a pretty big wash for work. I had an appointment at upstate medical, dentist appointments, therapy, Chinese New Year which is a day off from school for the girls, and catching up on laundry because our pipes froze last week. The one day I had a full work day ended up being a two hour delay. Then I realized my five year old forgot her glasses. I sat down to work thinking she is going to have to go the day without them. There is so much I have to do that I just don't have time to get them to her. But then all the things flooded my mind; her eye is developing, she needs to wear her glasses, what an asshole I would be if I made her go without them. And I couldn't focus on work. And the truth is that I do have time. Because we decided to create that time.
I keep thinking I quit teaching so that I could catch a breath with my own schedule. And sometimes I get right back into the habit of rushing around so I can get all the things done. But really, I did it for them, for us. I often think I am not cut out for this whole motherhood thing. It certainly highlights my shortcomings. She forgot her glasses because I forgot her glasses. Because I am absentminded and not present. I am not good at simple tasks because I live life in my head. But this incident reminded me that maybe I need a vision correction. I need the awareness to slow down. Leave work at the desk, get my daughter her bright, colorful glasses she picked out because those are the colors that bright, colorful five year old's pick out. Clean off the smudge prints of her Kindergarten life, and bring them to school for her to drop and smudge again and again. And be so damn grateful that you are able to do this for her. Because just a couple of weeks ago, she would have had to go without them. And that was too difficult to watch my life, their life unfold in that way.